My brain never does what it's told
A poem by Becca Fox
The truth is my brain never quite does what it's told.
It just doesn't.
The more I push it, the more it refuses to budge.
But if something catches it's fancy, whoosh, there it goes!
It acts spontaneously and impulsively,
with a great deal of emotion. (A great deal!)
So many ideas!
So many feelings and thoughts and curiosities!
I can't keep up!
And then, faced with the day to day realities of living a proper life in the outside world,
of being a mom and a grown up
and keeping to a schedule and running a business and actually producing finished things,
that same brain becomes sluggish and clumsy
Distracted and mistake-prone and accidentally rude and awkward.
As if it's always running just a few moments behind everybody else.
I won't lie sometimes I feel incredibly disabled
When I'm working twice as hard and moving twice as slowly
And when I'm simultaneously aware
Of a bright and vibrant creative mind
That's bursting at the seams
Trying to express something
Bursting with love
It's almost painful
I'm so afraid that no one but me will ever see the pictures in my mind
Because to me they're beautiful.
And I desperately want you to see them too